i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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