He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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