Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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