When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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