Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
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he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
whose parrot is this?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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