I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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