guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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