I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize