I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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