I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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