I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
