no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
