i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
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