Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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