Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
