The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
