she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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