maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
