I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize