i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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