Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
