the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
