Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
