did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize