just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
