I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
