Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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