i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
