All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
