Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
