I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
