How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
