Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You need a sexual gate keeper
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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