im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Randomize
