he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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