i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
