we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
