i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
high people should be assigned attendants
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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