we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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