then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
