Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
