So drunk its hurt
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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