he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
