bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
