No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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