But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
