I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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