Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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