Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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