i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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