I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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