no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
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