i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
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